Have you ever felt this way... ? - a sense of tightness in your chest and shortness of breath. Anxiousness, overwhelming anxiousness - "...am I putting my efforts into the right thing? Should I have focused more on doing this and not that? What if this all goes to shit and I've wasted the valuable time of so many people? "
Throughout my entrepreneurial journey, I've felt this uncertainty many times but recently it really snuck up on me. The past few days had been a whirlwind of networking, meeting people, attending workshops, learning new concepts, and trying to figuring out my next steps. I was filled with ideas but so overwhelmed with where to start - a juxtaposing paralysis of excitement and anxiousness. But the anxiousness was starting to outweigh the rest...
So what did I do? - I dragged myself out of bed early in the morning and got myself to yoga class.
"...Breath slowly.....inhale and exhale.... now surrender, surrender to the pose..." My legs were shacking as I was desperately trying to hold a warrior pose. "... allow your breath to move you through this. Inhale deeply, and exhale deeply..." I inhaled, my breath choppy and short, and exhaled, my legs trembling from muscle exhaustion and sweat slowly making its way down the small of my back and around the corners of the forehead - I felt like a warrior that's about to loose a battle. "Keep breathing, breath through it, now release the pose and relax.." I exhaled, almost collapsing, a sense of relief washing over me. It was done, just like that, and I had actually stayed in it for the entire time..!
A few minutes later I walked out of the class with a sense of relaxation, a big smile on my face, ready to take on the day. Soon enough --- those sneaky anxious thoughts bounced right back. This time around, there was something different. A new thought seemingly pushed its way past all of the other ones - a sort of realization that anchored itself in my consciousness and wanted to make itself heard:
"Your anxiousness is coming from a need to know - from a need for certainty - JUST SURRENDER - "
That's it!!!! How silly of me to think that I was going to be able to have it all figured out!! Nothing in this life is certain, and the more we strive for that certainty the more anxious and stressed we become. Truly all we have is the present - and what matters is what we're doing in this exact moment. If it's a need to pull back and ground ourselves, then that's what we must do, if it's to push ourselves and do that thing that we've been scared of, then that's what we must do. Being present will bring us closer to peace, closer to harmony, closer to oneness and a surrender. And then I realized...
Just the way I allowed myself to surrender to that horribly uncomfortable warrior yoga pose - I can surrender to the uncertainty of my business.
But then of course come all of the questions - how am I going to sustain the business, how am I to know what to do next? How do I stay grounded in my purpose and service and be certain that this will all work out? The answer is - you don't. We can't be certain. The more certainty you want, the more anxious you will feel. Instead what we can do is to surrender. Surrender to the uncertainty of what's ahead for us. Surrender to the unknown that lays before us. Surrender to the joy and the uncomfortableness that will be around those corners. Surrender ... Surrender some more...
Surrendering to uncertainty will release you from it. And only then will you be able to create work that truly matters. Surrendering releases you from the grips of your ego that wants to keep you safe and small. Surrendering allows you to tap into your greatest potential. Surrender every single day and that presence will keep you at peace.
Keep surrendering... inhale, exhale.. that's it, Warrior..